i feel like i just shattered i did not see this coming.

fuck fuck fuck i am an idiot. jesus help me, hold me together.

i thought it was different.  i cant see… i cant see it anymore and i need vision and wisdom.

if youre following this please pray for me. this isnt blog drama, this is me not being able to get ahold of a friend and needing a prayer.

jesus bless and keep you and her safe and warm and happy.

i will still be a lover and a gentleman and i have no idea how but its the promise i made and ill keep it god help me.  if i walk away im a liar and i know where that road goes.

at the end of the day i need to be a better man, a wiser man.  i need to be better than this… i’ve got two years and six months left.